homeless

HOMELESS - because your home is where your heart is

And so it happened. Me and my dog have moved last night to Bristol. New home (or just new house) new beginning. Scared, full of anxiety and sad. And that mixed up with the feel of freedom and new opportunities. I don't think I am gonna do much today. Even unpacking bags seems too difficult. Deep inside I knew I won't stay here too long. Or maybe I don't wan to? Or that this is not my home? Maybe not yet - maybe it will become my new home. Even Missouri senses that something happened. She walks around the house and cries. She senses that we won't go back to old house, we called home . She's been with me there for some time, it was her first home after taking her from her doggie mummy. For me, our previous house was just another on my journey since I left my mum's house 15 years ago. First it was to go to university. I spent last 15 years living with strangers, friends, other families, different partners.. Growing older and hoping to create my own home one day. Last house I shared, I really hoped it will be like a real home. I was renting it, but I treated it like it was my home. Caring for it. Yet - when I came back from my journey around the Europe - it felt weird, and not mine. There was no one really waiting for me. (Except my friends ;) My travel companion was with me - my Missouri. My man-friend stop being my man-friend some time ago already. My journey was just confirmation of things that ended long time ago. It helped me clear up my mind, and confirm of what I am looking for in my life. Apart from answers of who I am, where I am going to and what I am looking for, I also know for sure one thing - and I am saying it now consciously - that I wan to have home. My own home. My place I could call home. Whatever that means ;) It could be anywhere in the world.

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