Reflections

Bristol is slowly sinking into our personalities, mine and Missouri. Slowly becoming our city. Very slowly. I keep asking myself if it ever will become our home, or rather just a stopover. It has potential, but for now, we are going away again! Yeah! This saturday we are heading to France. Definitely for 2-3 weeks, but maybe longer.. ;) I think I secretly planned longer already. Same as last time, but this time, we will do different things. Some places are going to be the same, some not. Also, I will be working on editing my movie "Psim Tropem" (Dog's Trail).

At Strawberry Hill near our house, good spot for reflections

During stay in Bristol I had some time to think about my recent experiences while I travelled. How it influenced my life. I also had some thoughts about what is important to me in my life. And also I realised, that doing that 1st step towards travelling years ago, or rather deciding to live in another country than my own, I kind of lost my roots. It's sad. But also made my tougher. Stronger than I was. More confident. I am not perfect. Every day I battle with myself to be better for myself. And for my dog.
I was offered a job. Maybe it wasn't the best in the world, but I could feel I could be good at it. Problem was, that I would have to spend about 12 hours a day out. I could even earn a lot. And travel too, as they work in different towns around. Also it was awesome, that work atmosphere with those guys, their office felt so good. Like never before in any job I have been before. Just the air was boosting my ego ;) But you know what: I didn't take it. Because I have Missouri. I have completely no regrets - I can't believe how easy was for me to say that. I spoke to main boss and explained that my dog is very important to me, that she is my companion and friend, and little bit like a child, kind of ;) He understood. He genuinely regretted my decision and told me that he can give me references if I ever needed (just after interview and 1 day training, what a amazing thing!) I know that I want to build my life around my dreams, and not my dreams around my life, because I might never find enough time, energy and money for it. Like sadly most of the people. I Hope I can make it.

Also, I started playing around with my drawings and pen graphics in Photoshop. I was keep thinking what could I do instead of making stencils. I love making them, but I kind of lack of space to make them and place to keep them - under my bed :) I know I could just go on the street like most of street artist do. But it just don't feel like it..

Fighting demons

It's been a week since we moved to Bristol. For some reason I believed that I will find a job in a few days. But no. I know, sometimes it takes even two months or forever for some! Well, not for me. But I kind of lost my drive, or maybe just got depressed that on so many posts I replied it was only one that I had call back. I even went successfully throughout the interview, but I can start proper training in a week time, and earning in two.. Well, that's not good enough for me. I am so impatient person - I want a job now ;) The good things about the job is that it's freelance - as I work as a self-employed. My earnings will be as good as my skills as a salesman. I know I can do this, but I'm kind of broke right now. Keeping me in good spirit however is the opportunity of going to France for fruit picking season. So I am not lost, but I still will have to find money to buy tickets to get there. I wish I could pay someone with my paintings. World would be much happier place if, like in old ages one could exchange goods for other things. I make art - but it's not easy to sell it. People not buy it, as this is not on their priority list of things to buy. But don't they like their homes looks nice? Well of course they do. So they go to Ikea or some other place and buy reproductions made in hundreds if not thousands copies. Some have friends who made art and so they have originals. But do they care? As long as it matches carpet, or walls it's ok. Only rich people care - if the piece of art they have, represent value of money. And its where the circle ends. Money. This days everything comes to money.
Almost.
Lucky there are still things you can't buy. They are free to everyone! :)

just like that ;)


But in a time of sadness it's hard work to keep positive. That's why I am fighting my demons.
I had an urge to paint today. To give myself to freedom of creations. Somehow in my mind art creation and money needed for living don't go along hand in hand. I don't know how to overcome this pattern?

Last day at work

Last day at the office. I feel weird! I am leaving work to pursue my dream! So many questions, fears, hopes and visions mix up in my head.. - But I know I need to do it, there is no back up now, and many reasons for that. Also, I came across this today: borrowed from easytobook.com website

Nothing more, nothing less

Life is too short to be wasted

Only 1 week left for my adventure!
It's been already a year since I came up with this idea - and now it's coming up for real!
I am going for a trip around Europe with my dog - lovely samoyed girl name Missouri. During this trip I will be filming our adventures and taking tons of photos ;) And when I come back - I will make a movie, and maybe a book or at least story for a travel magazine!

When I was very young I was addicted to travelling documentaries, books and old good encyclopedia. I dreamed to be a world explorer and a globetrotter. Discover places and people in faraway lands.
I did some travelling before, mostly Europe and a bit of south east Asia. But it just always left me craving for more!

I am getting to be 35 this year, but at heart I am barely 25. And I still look like 25 though ;) Two years ago I had brain tumor, and then realized that life is too short to be wasted on doing things I don't like, so I started to build my life around things I like and always wanted to do! I made my bucket list, and now I am in a process of getting one of them done now!

So far I completed 3 of them
1 - visiting Neuschwanstein Castle in Germany, famous "Disney" castle
2 - meeting Monty Roberts
3 - getting a dog

and this is my 4th one! - making travelling documentary while travelling with my dog:)